Revelations
by Nommi
Summary: After loosing the one person she loved, Sara finds comfort in an unexpected place. Revelations about unkown feelings soon follow. My first ever fic so any directional comments or constructive criticism would be appreciated. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

As the rain hit the window Sara starred out listening to the heavy patter, hearing the fat drops falling on the roof and watching as they raced down the pane of glass, the top drops gathering speed as the grew larger, travelling forever downwards until they hit the outer sill with enough speed to make the heavy yet delicate droplets explode.

She looked at the clock again realising only three minutes had passed since she last checked.

Why must time pass so slowly when waiting for the inevitable?

14:17

The funeral was at 14:30.

"Best get going" Sara muttered to herself. Tearing her eyes away from the rain soaked glass she stood and, with heavy footsteps, went to grab her jacket and keys from the hallway and left her flat, closing the door behind her with a gentle snap.

The cemetery was only around the corner from her flat. She could even see the grounds from her bedroom window, row upon row of coffins, six feet under. Relatives of the world, buried and forgotten.

Sara Sidle, surrounded by death her entire life. Growing up, the demise of her father and eventually her mother. The job she held so close to her heart, and the apartment she hardly used. And now the man she had loved since she had met him after a seminar on the usefulness of bugs in Forensic science. The man who had saved her life had been taken away thanks to a driver who had fallen asleep at the wheel.

Everyone from the lab had tried to see her and impart their words of comfort. Not once had she opened the door or answered the phone. Sara knew that she was being selfish, that other people were hurting to. She really didn't care. Hell even Ecklie had stopped by, his usually aggressive and sarcastic tone sounding softer and defeated as he called through the door for her to open up.

Sara noticed one thing however, amongst all of those wishing to pass on their condolences and attempting to be there in her hour of need, Catherine had not been there.

She didn't know why this affected her so much or, more importantly, why it intensified the sadness she already felt.

It's not like she was particularly close to Catherine and they whispered secrets to each other or imparted details of their personal lives, the most personal thing they would discuss would be what they had had for breakfast, yet somehow Sara would have liked Catherine there, for her to have made an effort.

She didn't know why but all Sara wanted was a little comfort from the older CSI.


	2. Chapter 2

When she reached the cemetery gates Sara observed the group already standing near the freshly dug grave. Weather permitting, it had been decided that the funeral would be held outside and, as this was Vegas in the height of summer, there was no need to worry.

Sara made out the eight figures that made up her social network, all of which she had to note with a little sadness, were work colleagues.

The tall muscular frame of Warrick Brown was easily distinguished due to him being the tallest of the group stood with his back to the open gates, to his left the shorter yet thicker set Texan Nick Stockes. In between the two stood the unmistakable strawberry blonde, Catherine Willows, her slight figure seeming even smaller in comparison to the two men flanking her.

Across from them and facing Sara stood Dr. Al Robbins, Vegas' chief medical examiner. Leaning heavily on his crutch he was talking in a hushed tone to Jim Brass, homicide Captain in the LVPD. To Jim' right stood Greg Sanders, once lab rat now turned CSI and Sofia Curtis, once CSI now detective. Both were starring into nothingness, consumed by their own thoughts. Finally there was Conrad Ecklie, assistant director of the Vegas crime lab, standing a little apart from the main group and starring at the ground in front of him with a look of loss and total defeat.

Sara almost felt sorry for him, he was alone and received no words of comfort from those around him. However she quickly reminded herself there was a good reason for this.

It was Sofia who first noticed Sara as she headed towards the group gathered around the empty grave. The change in Sofia' expression made Nick, Warrick and Catherine turn to see what the blonde detective was looking at. Nick and Warrick took large strides and both enveloped Sara in a bear like hug, all emotion being poured into this one gesture. As the boys let her go Sara looked up and was met by a piercing stare from a pair of deep blue eyes however just as Sara noticed a flash of something cross Catherine' expression, Catherine averted her gaze. This hurt Sara more than she would care to admit even to herself. However before she could dwell on this Sara found herself faced by the rest of her co-workers intent on providing the comfort they had been trying to give her for the past week.

Catherine hung back and Sara got the impression that she didn't want to talk to her. Sara had known that Catherine was far from happy about the relationship between Sara and her former boss but Sara felt this was just being plane rude.

However at this point Sara was stopped from contemplating Catherine's actions by the arrival of the vicar announcing they would be starting any minute.

At that moment Sara heard the rumble of an engine behind her and then the sound of brakes as a car stopped at the gates. She prepared herself to turn and say a final 

goodbye to her mentor, friend, father figure and, more recently, lover. A goodbye which she had not imagined having to say so soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey sorry this has taken a little while but I kinda lost my muse, hope it's ok and thanks to all of those kind people who are reading my fic and even more so to those who are reviewing my work, it makes me very happy that you have taken the time.**

The service was short. Most of the team said a few words. Sara couldn't, she had thought about saying something. Spent many a sleepless night trying to figure out how to sum up a mans entire life in a few words.

She listened as Brass, Warrick and Doc Robbins paid tribute to their boss and friend.

As they stood with their heads bowed, the coffin was lowered into the ground. Sara noticed something that she found odd, Catherine had gone through the entire service not moving and not saying a word. She had been one of his closest friends and yet she had not been one of those to give an elegy. Sara could only put this down to Catherine not being able to, rather like herself.

She listened to a final prayer and couldn't help but spot the irony, a man who had dedicated his life to science was being buried in the grounds of a church with a vicar praying to a God he had not believed in. It was wrong. He should be furthering science as he had done throughout his life, which would be more appropriate. Yet Sara had just gone along with it, she hadn't had the will to argue.

The team walked out of the gates of the graveyard and onto the street, standing in the Nevada sun lost in their individual thoughts as life carried on around them.

"Drink?"

It was more a statement than a question from Brass. They all nodded their consent and went to various cars parked along the street. Sara went with Sofia as she had walked to the funeral.

"Good" she thought to herself "I guess I'm the designated drinker for today".

No-one had to ask where they were going, they all knew which bar was their destination. It was a place off-strip which they had gone to often, usually after a particularly hard case when coffee just wasn't enough. It was a fairly quiet place, usually frequented by Vegas locals due to the lack of tourists. It was a good place to be if they just wanted to talk and forget.

Sara could see Sofia glance over to her every now and again, but she just kept staring resolutely out of the window. She knew Sofia was worried, hell she knew the whole team where worried. The lack of communication with Sara had them all on edge, hoping and wishing she wouldn't do anything stupid. Sara didn't want to talk though, not to Sofia, not to anyone. She just wanted to get to the bar and forget.

They reached their destination ten minutes later and went to find a booth near the back, away from the few locals already in there, just because it was the middle of the afternoon didn't mean people didn't need alcoholic refreshments. It was Vegas after all, Sin City, where you could pretty much do as you pleased.

They sat down as Brass went to the bar bringing back nine beers. They sat in silence for a few minutes, not really knowing what to do or say. Finally Catherine broke the silence, lifting her bottle she said in a soft and saddened voice

"To Gil, may we always remember but allow time to heal the loss"

Bottles clinked as they toasted their leader, each of them caught in their own memories.


End file.
